I hereby decree

by David LeMieux


Every year my local church congregation holds a Halloween event called "Trunk or Treat." Children dress up in costumes and go Trick-or-Treating from car trunk to car trunk in a closed off parking lot. People decorate their cars and it is a lot of fun.

Since moving to California we have participated every year and each year we have won "Cutest Car." Two years ago I quickly put together a Pumpkin Car. Last year I had a lot of ambition and free time and I made a Working Photo Booth. This year I didn't have quite as much time and I made a Car Mouth. I have not hidden the fact that I have been trying to win Most Extremely Awesome Car of All Time but I don't know what the categories are and if that is even an option.

Car Mouth
Car Mouth about to devour my daughter.

Unfortunately on the day of the event our camera batteries were dead and by the time we realized it, it was too late to do anything. Therefore I don't have any "at the Trunk-or-Treat" photos. Or any photos of the final product, for that matter. Oh well.

Car Mouth Parts
Not pictured, the red pillow tongue and the gray mouth lining.

The mouth was made up of these basic parts:

  • Teeth: Cut from thick presentation board

  • Tongue: Made of a plain red shirt over a pillow

  • Uvula: Cut out of construction paper

  • Mouth lining: A large grey piece of fabric. (The backdrop from last years photo booth)

It was all held together with packaging tape and duct tape.

Car Mouth Award: Funniest Car
Funniest is not cutest. It's a start.

This year we were awarded Funniest Car. We got this cool certificate (pictured above) and some chocolate ghosts from See's Candies. They were most delicious.

While I am somewhat relieved to break free of the "cutest" category, I can't help but wonder what made my ferocious, flesh-eating, murderous car so funny to the judges. My guess is the uvula.


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