I hereby decree

by David LeMieux

 

In High School a few friends and I had this idea that the local marching bands, which competed in marching competitions, should also have a friendly flag football game. Instead of asking the schools for permission we organized it ourselves and put homemade signs up sheets in the other schools' music rooms asking for band kids to sign up and contact us. We put our own names and contact information, mine on top.

We may have used some copy that didn't sit well with school faculty who found out. Something like "get revenge" or "beat down your opponent." The schools, not wanting any liability, put an end to it. During Wind Ensemble one morning in front of the whole class our music director called the three of us out by name and asked why we would even do such a thing. In that moment, caught off guard, I failed myself. I shrank. I didn't respond. I pointed to the other guys and essentially threw one of them under the bus.

I am ashamed. I was a coward.

I think about this event often. I am still friends with one but the other I haven't ever talked to since.

Sometimes when I think about what happened I can't decide if I've gotten any better at taking responsibility for my actions, especially in public settings. Had the director pulled us aside privately I may have done better, but in front of my peers I did something terrible. I lied and lost a friend.

 

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